A.M. Tart, Fellow of the school of skiversIt was a Wednesday, James, Albion, Martin, Tart, (one of the Yorkshire branch of the Tart family,) known to every silly bugger as ‘Jammy’, hated Wednesdays, well it was neither fish nor fowl, it was a long way from the coming weekend and a drag from the last and Jammy lived for weekends. The rest of the weekdays was a drag for him, and Wednesdays were the worse. He was waiting for the post, out of work he had tried (at least he had gone through the motions of trying, he knew better than get a job, and sweat for a living), no matey he was bright enough to at least fain dimness, and play along as a prize come weekend for the raffle and did it to appease aunty) so as I said he had outwardly tried everything for a job, with help, he had written, applied, walked the streets desperately pretending to try to get a job but with his qualifications it was not easy. Mainly as Sadly he had failed his entrance exam for junior school, was exempt the 11 plus. “See, children, hair all over, just like I said. This one looks a lot older than only fourteen. She’s got a pelt on her that looks more like my Aunt Sadie instead of some disrespectful child of misfortune sent here for some much-needed discipline.”The sound of snickers and laughter swirled around us.I disregarded it completely, knowing that it was just the customary greeting of initiation for all new residents of the dreaded institution. The other girl was much more affected by it all because she was already peeing in her panties frozen in place and unable to remove them in time. The obscene comments flowed around us and the head mistress tapped the other girl strenuously on her now bared flanks with the longest ruler I had ever seen in my entire life. It had a distinctive thickness to it that gave it enough substance to actually “whistle” as it swept down to strike the young girl’s fast reddening bottom.I studiously kept a blank face ignoring the scene around me knowing instinctively.
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